My Friday..

So ytd i stayed over at regina's place.
we laughed and wrestled before we sleep as usual.
she had to leave early for piano this morning.
while i was still soundly asleep on her bed.
so the thing is, ytd afternoon joce smsed me and told me to work today.
1.30pm to 4pm. she said she will be at the shop BY 4pm.
so i trusted her, went to work.
its my first time working alone. a little scary, a little exciting.
but still, was a good experience.
when the clock striked 4, she was no where to be seen!
she didnt keep her promise!!
regina accompanied me at work,
shopped herself while waiting for joce to come and take over my shift.
and when joce still wasnt there at 4pm,
regina started complaining.
and i could see "bored" written across her face, IN CAPS!
so i felt a little guilty cause it was supposingly our date.
but id feel even more guilty if i turn joce down cause shes the one paying me afterall LOL.
so we waited and waited and she finally appeared, at 5pm.
she told me to stay till 5.30pm but i rejected to.
i really wonder if she remembered the way i bug her not to be late cause regina and i have plans in the evening. she turned up late, still requesting me to stay longer.
hmmm i really dunno what to say. lol
so after work at 5pm, i shopped, bought things.
1 dress, 1 top, 1 bomber jacket and 1 casual blazer.
from all around fareast. am happy yet very sad.
happy cause ive got new clothes, sad cause ive got no money LOL
after a while, we realised it was 8pm so we started to head home.
everything was normal until the train reached woodlands.
fuck shit, i realised i forgot to return joce the keys!
i had to cab back to fep just so that she can close the shop.
by the time i reached fep, it was already 9.20pm.
perfect for closing! but not so perfect for me.
at that time, 190s are packed, 106s are crowded, 174s take forever, 77s cant even fit an extra ant! omgggggggggggggggg i walked to the 190 bus stop, waited for 30 mins, 4 190s passed without stopping cause no fucking space at all. i was so mad i went to wait for the cab at Scotts plaza. in front of me, was a line of army. the queue was so fucking long la. im smokin', fumin', FUCKIN' PISSED already. cause it was already 10.15pm, regina alighted at woodlands, went back to admiralty, met bush, made out, took bus, reached home already! and im still fucking stucked at that fucked up place. ARGHHHH i started complaining and complaining (to myself apparently) so i couldnt stop reminding myself not to take cab cause the pay of my first day working would be gone if ive done so! so after waiting for the never-arriving taxi for like 15mins, i gave up. started to walk over to the busstop opposite four seasons hotel, hoping to board the first 106,77 or 174 that arrives. but guess what, i saw 106 drive pass me without stopping cause its so packed, then followed by 77. ive waited for 20 mins at that damn busstop! it was already 10.45pm.

speaking of which, i began to think..
i remembered when i got my first job, it was at Etro, Paragon. i hated that job cause it was tiring, i couldnt sit at all, theres uniform, my pants dont fit me well, my shoes gives me blisters, my colleagues are so old we dont talk and etc. BUT, at that time, no matter how tough the job was, how tired i was, i have something to look forward to and it motivates me to work better. id be so happy when i see Jenn waiting for me with my dinner in his hands. id be so happy cause Jenn will always be there, either playing with his fingers or staring into blank air. his arms would be crossed with the bag of dinner hanging down in the air. id see him from afar, run towards him and hug him, telling him how much i miss him and how much i hated my job. he would turn all my frowns upside down by kissing me on my forehead telling me that tml would be better. then id complain how hungry and tired i was and him being him, he'd pass me my dinner and forces me to eat. after that, we'd take bus back to my house together, he knows im dead like log and lazy like pork so he'd always allow me to lean on him or even slp and drool on him on the bus. at those times, the bus didnt felt like a bus at all. it was like as if i was lying on the most comfortable water bed in this whole entire world. aww so sweet.
now, my job is easy, i get to sit, slack, wear anything im comfortable in, walk around, food is just a phonecall away, check out ppl's dress sense, work with the people i like and can click with, do the thing i love. but, id feel bored, id feel lonely. id be so bored i build castles in the air, i talk to the clothes, i play with my hair, i look at my rashes and sms ppl to complain. ive nothing to look forward to anymore, nobody would be there anyway. today i went home alone after returning the keys to joce, i never felt so lonely before. i felt like im all alone when everyone elses were in pairs or groups. i didnt wanna sms him cause i know he wouldnt care less about me. i didnt wanna sms jenn cause i know i shouldnt bother him anymore. i didnt wanna sms regina cause i know she was having a great time with bush. then, i realised i had no one to depend on anymore. im by myself. i have to get used to this although its tough because i cant change anything now. no more packet dinners, no more warm hands, no more comfortable shoulders, no more motivations, nothing to look forward to, no more smiles...

this entry is getting emo. i dont wanna continue cause im 1 second away from crying out loud. okay goodnight ppl.